


Clown Parade

by Northisnotup



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: F/M, don't drink beet on the roof, get togther, take a chance on me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 17:29:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5384240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Northisnotup/pseuds/Northisnotup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>starmorgs asked: "Where the fuck did that clown come from?" SHITTY/LARDO</p><p>Okay, I love this prompt, and I am, again, stealing the beginning idea from a tumblr post <3~</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clown Parade

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shmorgas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shmorgas/gifts).



Lardo scoots forward, not close enough to fall off the roof, but close enough Shitty feels safe in his decision to drop a casual- completely buddies! -arm around her shoulders. “Where the fuck did that clown come from?” Lardo snorts, earning a fist bump, because she is rightfully implying A) that this guy is a clown, and B) not even one of the well known clowns. Shitty shrugs, unsure if he wants to explain how much the upcoming showdown explains all the weird tension in the haus in the last week. 

Ransom and Holster never fight. Never, it is, in fact unheard of. But they have been fighting this week; vicious, underhanded, snapping fights. Over this, this guy on the front lawn of his haus. 

See, Ransom and Holster have both been trying to find Bitty a date, the perfect date, the perfect boyfriend since he came out. And they both think they have. The problem is, they have both picked out different men. 

Holster’s pick is Stephen, yes, with a PH, he’s a couple of years older than Bitty a result of a gap year after high school and then being wishy-washy about a major, but he’s nice enough. Stephen is on the rowing team, which means he is built, he doesn’t like cooking but will eat just about anything. Holster has used words like ‘free spirited,’ and ‘romantic soul,’ to describe him. He’s been here for an hour, sitting in the kitchen, making pleasant, if strained, small talk with Jack while Holster tries to coax Bitty out of his room and down for the date. 

Now, Ransom’s choice on the other hand, has just shown up. On a motorcycle. He is, objectively, gorgeous. He shakes long, thick, curly dark hair out of his helmet, and when he unzips his leather jacket, the man is ripped. Shitty probably deserves the elbow he gets in the ribs for whistling, low and appreciative. He doesn’t have any particular leaning towards men, but he’s not completely ignorant to a fine specimen, okay? Even if that specimen is supposed to be for Bitty. 

“Now, Lardo,” Shitty says as casually as he can, “If you were a betting man?” 

Lardo haunches her shoulders up, sipping her beer without saying anything. Which, no, that isn’t how this is supposed to go. This was supposed to be funny, make fun of the candidates, weigh them against each other with some harmless objectification thrown in for laughs. Then get high and talk about Bitty’s traditional feminine qualities and how they influence how the people around him see him. Which is some pretty good shit for his thesis, and by then, Bitty might be out of his room and more than willing to stress-bake and talk about his easy relationship with his mother! 

“Lardo?” Shitty squeezes her gently, unsure if she’s in a touching mood and feels some pressure lift when she curls close enough to rest her head on his shoulder. 

She makes a rough noise against his shirt before squaring her shoulders and looking him in the eye defiantly. “Do you want to go out with me? On a date?” 

“What?” Shitty’s beer can slips from his fingers and he fucking ruins the moment trying to catch it but only succeeding at getting beer all over them. He just, he didn’t think they were going to do this. Like, sure the attraction was there and sure he likes and loves Lardo in a platonic way, but moving that to a romantic place is not something Shitty envisioned for them. He thought they would be Shitty and Lardo forever, but not Shitty-and-Lardo. 

“It’s cool if you don’t want to go there, it’s just.” She blows out a breath, licking off a stray drop of beer that landed on her upper lip during Shitty’s flailing attempts to save his can. The want that throbs through his gut is completely old news at this point, but he savors it anyway. “This is all so stupid. Bitty doesn’t want to date these guys, but he does want to date, and he sucks at telling Ransom and Holster no because he’s so busy being grateful they don’t hate him. And Jack, Jack is… it’s just dumb. I like you, and you like me and liking someone shouldn’t be a fucking circus.” 

“I do like you.” Shitty hastens to get out, because his tongue is suddenly twisted and clumsy in his mouth but that is really the most important thing he has to say. “I really like you. I didn’t think you wanted to go there, because all your relationships are so casual, and I’m graduating soon.” Fuck he doesn’t want to say that. Shitty doesn’t want to give Lardo any reasons to take her offer back. But, like, it’s unworthy of him to pretend like graduating isn’t important and won’t affect their relationship, whatever incarnation in takes. 

She shakes her head, face soft and open in the warm glow of the streetlamps. “I don’t want to be casual with you. I want to try.” Lardo licks her lips again and Shitty isn’t even ashamed to follow the nervous gesture with his eyes. “Like, it’s not just artist bullshit when they say you have to be present in your life to be present in your work, you know? You have to be willing to take risks, to step out of your comfort zone and open yourself up to pain and disappointment and overwhelming joy if it all works out.” 

“I want that.” Shitty nods, barely breathing. 

Lardo smiles, the quick, sharp grin she gets when they own at beer pong, or he scores a filthy shortie. She holds out a beer tab like a ring. “So, B. Shitty Knight. Wanna go steady with me, bro?” 

“I would be fucking honored, bro.” She fits the beer tab around the tip of his pinky, where it pops off almost immediately when she pulls him down and sticks her tongue in his mouth. It renders the symbol useless, but really, it was a fucking beer tab. Sucking on Lardo’s tongue while she buries her fingers in his hair though? That is a fucking revelation. Her lips are chapped and she kisses hard and sloppy and tastes like beer and he loves it. 

Lardo pulls back when Shitty is breathing rough and the voices behind them become to loud to ignore. “To reiterate,” she licks her lips and is close enough that he can feel it. “where did that fucking clown come from?” 

“Hey, I’ve got ten bucks on that fucking clown getting a second date.” Shitty decides, completely impulsively. He has no idea who Bitty will prefer, or if either one of them will get a second date. And that is all riding on Holster sweet talking Bitty out of his room in the first place. 

“I will take that action. Twenty says that fucking clown rides off with ‘romantic soul,’” 

Oh. It is on.


End file.
